Perverse Investigations, Inc.: Case Of The Disappearing Spooks Read online

  "But..."

  "Now!" she snarled.

  "Let me have a good lick for luck?" he said.

  She lifted her dress again. "Go on, one lick."

  He didn't waste a second, and as he got up he seemed to find a new courage. "Let's get this done!" he said, and grabbed the EMF detector from the kit bag.

  "Okay, Tits, get the digital thermo and follow him around," she said. "Hopefully when he's attacked, you can record the temp change."

  "Got it," she said.

  "I'm just going to start snapping some night vision shots, see if there's anything at all that shows up.

  "Two fucking hours and not a God damned thing to show for it!" Beatrice said. "Five new holes dug, and we can't find a trace of the thing that's doing it!"

  They could actually see the holes being dug, one by one, with their naked eyes. They could even hear whatever was used to dig with, hitting the ground and scraping the dirt. But nothing registered at all. It couldn't be a ghost, or even a demon.

  "Oh, hold on!" Janice said. She was looking over the top of the infrared camera and pointing toward one of the holes about twenty feet in front of them.

  Everyone else looked, but couldn't see a thing. But, Beatrice took a snapshot, and looked at the screen of the camera.

  "I see it on the camera," she said.

  "I'm getting a reading on the EMF," Steve said.

  "It just stepped into the hole!" Janice said.

  Beatrice took another picture, but the image, an older male ghost, was no longer there.

  "Reading zero, now," Steve said.

  "The hole is two degrees hotter than the ground around it," Tits said, pointing the thermometer at the ground.

  "That one, now!" Janice yelled, pointing at another hole.

  "See it!" Beatrice said, looking at her camera.

  They stood and watched as one by one a ghost appeared, stepped into a hole, and disappeared.

  "Another hole being dug!" Steve said, as he pointed.

  "Why the fuck can't we pick up the thing that's digging them?!" Beatrice yelled. "You motherfucker, show yourself!" She reached into the kit bag, got out a bottle of fluid, and ran toward the new hole, and threw it in.

  That had an effect. A dark gray mist swirled in the air and made the general outline of a person, but then it quickly dissipated into the hot night air.

  "Guys, I feel weird," Janice said. She stood up and started walking toward the new hole.

  "Janice!" Beatrice yelled. "Tits, tackle her, do anything, but keep her away from the hole!"

  Tits ran toward Janice, grabbed her around the waist, and hoisted her up on her shoulder. "Got her!" she yelled.

  "Hey, hold on!" Beatrice said.

  "What is it?" Steve said.

  "Don't you get it?" she said. "The holes, the knife-shaped marks, the fact that all the ghosts are disappearing?"

  Steve thought for a moment. "Nope, not a clue." he said. He looked at Tits who was really more fondling Janice than keeping her away from the hole. She shrugged.

  "Show yourself!" Beatrice said. "Grim Reaper!"

  There was a deep, scary chuckle in the air, and then the old bastard, Death, showed himself. He was dressed exactly as expected in long black robes and hooded, and in his hand was a scythe. "You're good," he growled, and pointed a long boney finger at her.

  "You bastard!" she yelled. "Do you know how much money you've cost me?! You're putting me out of a job! Stop stealing my fucking ghosts!"

  "These souls belong to me," he said. "I don't know how they got loose, but I'll collect them all! Including her!" He pointed at Janice and she floated out of Tits's hands and toward Death.

  "No way!" Steve yelled, and threw another bottle of fluid on him.

  It worked for a moment; Janice was out of his control and fell to the ground. Tits jumped on top of her to hold her down... or molest her. She was doing a bit of both. But the old man quickly regained his strength and laughed.

  "Your water is weak," he chuckled. "The cheap stuff. Not even consecrated by a real priest." He licked his fingers to taste it. "A Chinese nunnery's toilet water, I'd say."

  "Steve, run into the church, find Father Ted, tell him to bring holy water!" Beatrice yelled.

  "Yes, Steve, you do that," Death said. "While you're gone I'll drag Janice back to hell with me."

  Steve looked at Death, than at Beatrice, then back at Death. "What do I do?" he yelled, looking at Beatrice again.

  "Shit!" Beatrice yelled. "I'm damned fond of Janice!" She looked at the girls; Tits was naked from the waist down, riding on Janice's face. "Assistants that raunchy and so completely given over to sex are damned hard to find! And that's not her grave!"

  Death pointed at them, and Tits seemed to be pushed off Janice and the ghost girl started floating again. "It's the grave of her grandmother," he said. "I can work with that. She was supposed to be buried here, anyway."

  "Give me the last bottle!" Beatrice yelled. "And you go get the holy water from the church!"

  Steve tossed her the bottle and she grabbed it out of the air and took off walking toward the reaper as Janice was floating toward him, right beside her. She got closer. Closer than was safe, but she figured the only chance she had was to make sure as much of the water got on him as possible, then they could get Janice away from the graveyard.

  "I'm with you, Boss!" Tits yelled, and ran to catch up. "Let's give it all we got!"

  But something weird happened. Death backed away from Tits. Beatrice saw her chance and rushed him, covering him completely with the fluid, and again it caused him to lose control of Janice, but only moments later he was back on his feet.

  "You're out of holy water!" he snarled. "And the vampire can't go inside the church, remember?"

  "Fuck!" Beatrice yelled. "I forgot about that!" But she could see there was still something different about Death. She nudged Tits a little closer and he backed away again. "Why are you afraid of her?"

  "I'm not!" he yelled. "I have no more fight with you, cunt! I only want the ghost girl; she belongs to me!"

  "She belongs to me!" Beatrice said, and nudged Tits again. He backed up again. And then she figured it out. "What does it take to make holy water? Having a priest pour his soul into it, right?"

  "What'cha mean, Boss?" Tits said.

  "I can't get in!" Steve said. "There's like a barrier or something!"

  Beatrice grabbed him by the arm and threw him into Death and they both fell to the ground.

  "Fucking vampire, get off me!" Death yelled.

  But Steve had snapped. He had gone into complete vampire mode and was huge and terrifying. He tore into Death; though doing no real damage, he was giving the old man a real fight.

  "Just hold him down!" Beatrice yelled, and grabbed Tits by the waist and lifted her off the ground. "Piss on him! You ate the priest's cum! His complete desire made liquid! Your whole body is full of holy water; that's why he's afraid of you!"

  "Got it!" Tits yelled, and lifted up her knees and grabbed hold of her ankles and Beatrice carried her closer to Death.

  And the girl let loose, pissing all over Death and Steve. And things began happening. First, Steve reverted to his human form, and Death instantly kicked his ass and threw him several feet away. But as he growled and ran toward Beatrice and Tits, Tits let him have it again, dousing him head-to-toe with her hot pee.

  "No!" he yelled, and started smoking. "You can't defeat Death!"

  But apparently they could, because he dropped to his knees, pounded the ground, and then reached his shaking hand out for his scythe, and disappeared.

  Steve rolled over and sat up, staring at his hands. "I was touching Death!" he said.

  "Big deal, Tits just pissed on him," Beatrice said. She knelt down beside Janice and stroked her hair. "You okay, now?"

  Janice nodded and smiled. "I was helpless; he was pulling me toward my eternal home."

  "Your home is in my bathroom," she said, and playfully smacked her cheek.

  Jani
ce nodded. "Thank you, ma'am," she said.

  "Tits, take a temp reading on the holes, now," Beatrice said, as she stood up and grabbed the camera.

  "No difference, now," Tits said.

  "What happened!" Priest Ted yelled, as he ran toward them. He stopped and smiled as he saw Tits naked ass. "Did... did you catch whatever is digging the holes? I heard a lot of yelling!"

  "We got rid of him," Beatrice said. "For now. There's something else we need to do to keep him from coming back, though."

  "What's that?" he said.

  "I think you're going to like it," she said, and winked at him. She lifted her dress. "You need to cum in our mouths and then we need to spend the rest of the night pissing on all the graves."

  "What?!" he said. "I..."

  She rubbed her pussy and then poked her fingers in his mouth. "We need you!"

  "Well, I guess if it's absolutely necessary," he said, and started unbuttoning his pants.

  "Tits, you've already been made holy, so start marking some graves, girl," she said. "Steve and Janice, kneel down and receive the sacraments, then I'll go last. We may need a recharge, so Father, stay close by."

  Steve and Janice were cheek-to-cheek as he pumped their mouths full of jism, but he looked so sad.

  "I don't know how many more times I can jack off," he said.

  "Hey Father, what are the rules about a priest getting raped?" she said. "I mean, if someone attacked you, you couldn't be held responsible for that, right?"

  He thought for a moment and shrugged. "St. Augustine said rape didn't count," he said, as he squeezed the last few drops of cum into Janice's mouth.

  "Steve, Janice, go do your work," she said, and grabbed the priest by the lapels and threw him on the ground.

  "What?" he said. He seemed very confused and a bit scared.

  Beatrice quickly straddled him and was rubbing her pussy up and down his floppy cock as it twitched and started to stiffen. "Do as you're told and you won't get hurt!" she snarled. "Much."

  "Ya-Yes ma'am!" he stuttered. It was going to be a long night! Of course, she could have just told him to go get the holy water from the church, but her way seemed a lot more fun.

  The End