Perverse Investigations, Inc.: Case Of The Disappearing Spooks

  Perverse Investigations, Inc.

  Case Of The Disappearing Spooks

  Jasmine Hall

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places and incidents are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, names, places, businesses, trademarks, or events and incidents is purely coincidental. All characters herein are, and are represented as, at least eighteen years of age. This book contains explicit sexual themes and language and is intended for adult readers only. Absolutely no one under the age of eighteen may download or read this book.

  Copyright © 2015

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any form, print or electronically, without the expressed, written consent of the author, with the exception of brief excerpts used in reviews and news articles. Please do not share this book. Copies are available at smashwords.com. So please tell your friends they can get their own copies there.

  ***

  "Hey, has anyone seen my big buttplug?" Beatrice said, rummaging through a desk door.

  "It's up my ass," Janice said. "Remember, you said I could wear it."

  Beatrice stared at the ghost girl for a few seconds. Was 'wear' really the right work for a buttplug? Use? Install?

  "Car is clean!" Steve said, as he walked through the door and sat a bucket and sponge down on the floor. "Took forever to get the cum stains off the driver's seat." He took a deep breath and waited for some sort of thank you. None was offered.

  "Maybe you should stop sneaking down there and jacking off in the seat, then," Beatrice said. "You only do it because you think I'll accidentally sit in it."

  He shrugged. "Oh, did you know Tits is down on the street selling lemonade?"

  "I sent her down," Beatrice said. "I need ten more dollars to pay the electric bill."

  "I thought that was covered with the fifty I made sucking off her grandfather?" he said.

  She shook her head. "Fuck, we need another case!" she said. "What's with this town?! It's like every ghost took a vacation or something! And demons are always rare. We haven't been on a job for three fucking weeks!"

  "Maybe we already caught them all?" Janice said, and then came all over Beatrice's foot, which was lodged up her cunt as she lay on the floor in front of her. "Uhh, uhh, uhh!"

  "Good girl," Beatrice said. "Before you lick my foot off, stand up and bend over."

  Janice did as she was told, and bent over with her ass toward her boss. Beatrice yanked her buttplug out and pointed. "Look at that? I bet I could get my fist in her ass without even trying!" She tried. It slipped into the ghost girl's gaping butthole with almost no resistance.

  Steve decided to take advantage of the situation since her head was already dick-high, and pulled out his cock, grabbed her hair, and started humping her mouth, as Beatrice started fist-fucking the little girl's ass and tugging on her pussy lips. Janice was waving her arms around and Steve shoved his dick in up to his balls and held it there as she started gagging and coughing, but she still came, squirting all over the floor as Beatrice yanked her fist out and Steve pumped his cum down her throat. She fell to her knees and held herself up with her hands as she gagged and spit.

  "Thank you, ma'am," she whispered, and then crawled around, curled up on her side like a kitten, and started licking her boss's foot.

  "See, now if I could just get you trained!" Beatrice said, pointing at Steve.

  "If I were any more pussy-whipped, I'd have fur and a tail," he said.

  "Speaking of which, come eat out your employer while Janice finishes cleaning my foot," she said, waving her legs open.

  He smiled, knelt down, and wiggled his head up her tight skirt.

  "Umm, yeah, right there!" Beatrice moaned. "I'll say this for you, you can eat pussy with the best of them!"

  It didn't take her long to grab his head and pull his mouth tight against her cunt as she squirted his mouth full of her juices. "Yeah, that's a good boy." She could feel his tongue inside her, lapping up every last drop.

  "Hey, I got a job!" Tits said, running into the office.

  "You've already got a job, which you're apparently not doing at the moment!" Beatrice said, pushing Steve off her.

  "No, no, I mean a ghost hunting job!" she said. "A man approached me down on the street about it! He's coming up to see us as soon as he gets some cash from the ATM." She smiled and put her hands on her hips. "I told him we needed two hundred dollars up-front!"

  "What?!" Beatrice said, as she jumped up, kicking Steve to the floor. "You just earned yourself a good pussy-licking directly from me!"

  "Yes!" Tits said, making a fist.

  "What did he look like?" Beatrice said, as she poofed up her hair in front of the piece of mirror on the wall. It was a complete mirror, but Steve smashed it because he said it was mocking him. He had become more and more vampire as the weeks had passed, and now he had no reflection at all. "Did he look like he would have two hundred dollars?"

  "Well, he was... what do you call those people?"

  "A priest?" Steve said, as he pointed to the door.

  "Ah, I see your employee has already told you I was in need of your help," he said, as he walked into the office and placed a stack of twenty dollar bills on the desk. "Two hundred up-front, right?"

  Beatrice grabbed the money, counted it, and then dropped it into a drawer and shoved it closed.

  "Yes, that's correct," she said. "Have a seat, Father..."

  "Ted," he said. "Ted Donahue."

  "Well, Father Ted, what can we help you with?" she said, as she sat down on the front of her desk. She didn't immediately realize her legs were spread apart, but quickly crossed them.

  "Oh, uh," he said. "I've completely forgotten, now." He smiled. "Can I see that again?"

  "Oh, sure, I guess," she said, and un-crossed her legs and gave him a good look at her pussy.

  "Nice!" he whispered.

  "Hey, I thought priests were not supposed to like women," Steve said.

  "Oh, well, blow the nice man, then," Beatrice said, "if he likes boys."

  "No, no, I love women," he said. "We're just not allowed to have sex with them." He ran his finger around his collar and seemed to be sweating.

  "Well, it's just us, you know," Beatrice said. "No one here is gonna tell if you'd like to pull your boy out and give him a rub down. As long as no one touches you, you're safe, right?"

  "Oh, that... that would be nice," he said. He didn't need talked into it; he had his cock in his hands in seconds, jacking and playing with it as he looked at Beatrice's cunt. "I... well, let me tell you my problem. If I can remember it. Oh, yes, a demon or something."

  "There's nothing wrong if Tits here kneels down in front of you and offers you a mouth to cum in, is there?" she said. "The more that goes in her, the less on the floor."

  "No, no, that would be wonderful," he moaned. "Quickly, please!"

  Tits was on her knees and got her mouth open just as Father Ted shot a massive wad of thick, sticky cum into her mouth, with a second shot splattering her face and neck. The third dribbled out on his hand.

  "I'm sure we can help you with your problem, Father," Beatrice said. "As you can see, we go out of our way to please our clients."

  "Yes, yes, thank you," he said, slipping his dick back into his pants. "It's been months since I came."

  "No, your spook problem," she said. Tits stood up and started wiping the cum off her face with her finger, and then licking it up.

  "Yes, oh, I remember, now," he said. "Our church has a small graveyard attache
d to it, and unfortunately something has been digging in it. We've got surveillance cameras set up; we can see the holes being dug, but we can't see anyone digging them."

  "Digging in the graves, you mean?" Beatrice said.

  He nodded. "But not with a shovel, more like it is done with a big knife or blade of some sort."

  "Does sound like demonic activity," she said. "A ghost would use a shovel."

  "Really?" he said.

  Steve was snickering. He knew she didn't have a clue how a ghost would dig a grave.

  "Most certainly," she said. "I've seen it before, when I worked alone before these assistants were hired." She glared at Steve.

  "Well, it sounds like you're the right people for the job," he said, still staring at her crotch.

  "Well," she said, hopping off her desk. "I'm sure we can catch the culprit."

  "Good!" He said. He stood up and adjusted the front of his pants. "Your assistant said the job would probably cost twelve hundred dollars in total?"

  Beatrice was trying very hard not to smile or dance around the room. "Yes, with our church discount, twelve hundred even," she said.

  "That's fine, then," he said. "The other one thousand will be waiting for you at the church." He reached into his pants' pocket and pulled out a business card that was damp with cum. "This is the address. We would appreciate it if you could do it tonight, since there is no late mass tonight."

  Beatrice reached under her dress, rubbed her wet pussy, and then held her hand out to him. He grabbed it instantly, shook it, and then stuck his fingers in his mouth.

  "We'll be there after dark," she said, and winked.

  "God, you taste delicious!" he said, and took a deep breath. "Well, there's other business I have to attend to, buying clean underwear for one thing, so again, thank you for everything!" He bowed, then turned and practically ran out the door.

  "Going to go whack off again, isn't he," Steve said.

  Everyone nodded.

  "He won't make it out the building," Tits said.

  "Nice enough guy, though," Beatrice said. "And... Tits!" She walked over to the girl, grabbed her face, and kissed her passionately, flicking her tongue between her lips and licking up the girl's spit. "You're in for one amazing fuck, girl! Just as soon as we get this done, you're not going to be able to walk for a week!"

  "Yay!" Tits said. "Oh, almost forgot. I made thirty bucks from the lemonade, too!" She pulled the money from her pocket and put it in her boss's hand.

  "Thirty?" Beatrice said. "You only had enough to make ten dollars."

  "I was getting two dollars a glass once I started squeezing a few drops of breast milk in it," she said.

  "Now see, why can't you two be smart like Tits?!" she said. "Tits, you're now my favorite."

  "Hey, maybe it's a demon groundhog or something digging the holes," Steve said.

  "You're my least favorite," Beatrice said. "Anyway, Janice, see if you can pull up a map of the graveyard from the net."

  "We still have the net?" she said.

  "Last time I checked this morning," Beatrice said. "We get this job done tonight, though, and the cut-off notice will go away for another month." She looked around. "Let's see, Tits, check the kit bag, make sure everything is in there; Steve, get my green dress." She unzipped the back of the dress she was wearing, dropped it to the floor, and walked around naked, wearing just her stockings and heels.

  "Can it wait for a few minutes?" he said. "Oh, and can you turn around and bend over?"

  "Like this?" she said, showing him her butthole.

  "Yes!" he said.

  She turned back around, and then kicked him in the nuts. "Anyway, this might be an all-nighter, so when you can breathe again, gather up some snacks and bottles of water," she said. "She walked to his room and got the dress for herself.

  "Got a map," Janice said, waving a printout. "Police department had it on their website, even shows where the holes have been dug. Oh, and I transferred a copy to your cell phone."

  "You did?" Beatrice said, sliding the dress over her head. "How did you do that? I can't do that."

  "I read a website about it a few weeks ago," she said. "How do you think your wallpaper gets changed every morning?"

  "You do that?" she said. "I thought I had accidentally subscribed to Massive Black Cocks website or something." She picked up her phone and stared at the wallpaper for a moment. "I always thought it was a myth that some guys could fuck themselves in the ass."

  "Hey, we're running low on holy water," Tits said, carrying the kit bag in from the bathroom. "Three bottles left."

  "Shit!" Beatrice said. "I ordered more three weeks ago," Beatrice said. "Maybe the Chinese nuns are on strike or something."

  "A little low on snacks, too," Steve said, crawling across the floor. "A half a box of Sneaky-Doodles and three free sample boxes of sugar flakes."

  "Well, as much as I hate to spend money on useless things like food, we can stop by Macky's drive-thru for burgers on the way," she said. "Damn, I didn't know we were getting so low on everything."

  "That's what happens when we don't get a job for three weeks and the milk bank people get pissed off and ban us," Steve said. Which was true, but she figured they wouldn't notice a little added water. But they did, and now there was no regular income except for Steve's forced homosexual acts, and even that was wearing thin since he sometimes had trouble controlling his fangs.

  "Well, all the more reason to get this right tonight!" she said. She looked at her phone again. "It will be nearly ten by the time we get the food and get to the church, so let's head out."

  "Gee, we're going to church together just like a real family!" Janice said.

  Everyone stared at her.

  "I'd forgotten how good food is!" Steve said, spitting bits of hamburger on everyone from the passenger seat.

  "Heathen!" Beatrice said.

  Tits and Janice were in the back seat, fucking each other, but they were eating, too.

  "Wonder what kind of meat these hamburgers are made from?" he said, taking another big bite.

  "Well, they were twenty-five cents each, so I'm guessing nothing we want to know about," she said. She looked at the rearview mirror. "Finish up, you two, we're getting close to the church."

  "Okay!" Janice said. "Just got to get my fries out of Tits's pussy." She reached across the seat with a french fry. "Want one?"

  Steve gobbled it down. "Not bad!" he said, then opened another hamburger wrapper and ate it in three quick bites.

  "There it is," Beatrice said. "I'm guessing we should park around back, and then I'll go inside and get the rest of the money while you guys set up the cameras." She turned onto the gravel alley and stopped the car. "Remember, let's get this right!"

  Everyone piled out and looked around. It was apparently as close to a church as any of them had been in a long time.

  "I've seen these on TV," Steve said.

  "I think I had my funeral here," Janice said, as she zipped up her pants.

  "Really?" Tits said, zipping up her pants.

  "Well, it was a big building like this," she said. "Not sure."

  "If your funeral was here, wouldn't you have been buried in this graveyard?" Beatrice said

  "Not necessarily," a voice said from behind them. It was Father Ted. "This graveyard hasn't been used for twenty years or so." He seemed to think for a minute. "Wait, your funeral?"

  "She's always kidding," Beatrice said. She figured it wasn't the best idea to tell a priest that one of the people he hired was a ghost, and another was a vampire. Then again, the other two were complete sluts, and that probably wasn't any better in religious circles, but he had used both of them to get off earlier, so who knew.

  "Father Tom decided I should bring the rest of the money out to you, instead of have you all come into the church," he said. He handed Beatrice an envelope. "God, you are a magnificent looking woman!"

  She grabbed it, thumbed through it, and then hugged it. "Thank you, Father."

/>   "And you," he said to Tits. "I get a throbbing erection just remembering you slurping down my cum." He adjusted the front of his pants. "Well, Father Tom has lined up a Go Fish tournament, so I need to get back inside."

  "One thing," Beatrice said. "Why are you so desperate to get to the bottom of this?"

  "Yeah, that part doesn't make sense," Steve said, still spitting hamburger on everyone. "You just hand over twelve hundred bucks and we haven't even done anything, yet."

  Beatrice smacked him on the back of his head. "What he means in his ridiculously ignorant way is, well... yeah, what he said," she said.

  "Well, the truth is the church mainly exists from donations from the family members of the people buried here," he said. "But if they decide we're not protecting their loved ones properly, they'll move them somewhere else. There's quite a competition for burials among the churches, you know, since most living people don't want anything to do with us these days."

  "So, it's worth twelve hundred to get this sorted, then," she said. "Don't worry, we're on the job!"

  He nodded. "Uh... can I have one more look?" he said.

  She smiled and lifted her dress. "Have a good look," she said.

  He did. He got down on his knees in front of her and seemed to be sniffing the air. "Just wonderful!" he said, but quickly got up and sighed. "Well, a long night of playing cards and papal humor awaits." He shook his head, and then walked away.

  "Poor guy," Tits said. "I should go rape him. I mean, he could claim it wasn't his fault, then."

  "Well, let's take care of this problem first," Beatrice said. "We're getting paid to do that." She walked everyone toward the graveyard, and then scratched her foot on the ground. "Let's set up the infrared camera here, Janice."

  "Yes ma'am!" Janice said.

  "We don't even know what we're dealing with, yet, so Steve, take the EMF detector and start walking around," she said.

  "Wait, by myself?" he said. "Won't that be dangerous?"

  "If you're killed, we'll get by somehow," she said.